10 reasons why BANTAM skates are for hipsters
Back in 1997, the standard garb for any Lagwagon /NOFX / Pennywise loving punk rocker consisted of a pair of extra baggy Carhartts, a grey DC hoodie, a pair of Etnies and a skateboard, which was all attainable for a fair price down the local skate shop. Legitimate were those who’d hum along to Kill all the White Men whilst relentlessly trying to pop shove-its up a curb.
However, those who’d be caught huddled up in the aforementioned attire, smoking a roll up around the back of the Peel / West-end Centre with a perfectly new skateboard, that had effectively never had and never would be ridden came the penned word ‘walk-board’ which basically meant it would never actually serve as more than just an accessory.
I thought I’d heard the last of this derogative phrase at the end of the 90′s, however just recently, thanks to a launch of an ‘old-school’ plastic board, I’m all of a sudden reminded of this ludicrous terminology, although no-longer applicable to 14 year old FAT Wreck- Chord fans, but 20- something working Parisians.
This is all down to the production of a company saving toy, the Globe BANTAM. The brightly colored mini plastic cruisers that has become a regular feature in the hippest of hipster Tumblers.
Here are 10 more reasons hipsters LOVE the BANTAM (and why you shouldn’t buy one) :
1. Because it has no grip, so when they carry it, their Lacoste poloshirts’ don’t bobble at the hip.
2. Their plastic surfaces are easier to clean, so they can wet-wipe all those nasty germs off after an Instagram session alongside the Canal St Martin
3. The multiple colour boards give more of a colour range to work with and to match their brand new limited edition Kenzo Vans with.
4. Because it’s plastic, there are no tale-tale wear and tear signs, so no one can say you haven’t ACTUALLY ridden it.
5. Because the advert was on FUBIZ.
6. Because in the aforementioned advert, there are also some bowl riders who look totally rad, skating the guys in Lords Of Dogtown, which is totally vintage and totally now.
7. It equally features hot american babes chilling around a pool in thongs drooling over the skaters, and you want to create the same effect when you cruise along the Grand Plage in Biarritz on your holidays
8. Because when you go on holiday to the Biarritz, you look a bit more credible if you rock up to your beginners surf lesson with a skate.
9. Because it’s always cooler to say ‘I skate’ to your surf instructor, as a way of convincing him you’re ‘extreme’ and you know what foot forward you are.
10. Because they’re ONLY 99 euros (a LOT cheaper than a fixed-gear).
And a bonus reason:
# Because girls come up and speak to you in English, because they OBVIOUSLY think you’re an Australian surfer. Therefore cool.
Some classics :